“You have Multiple Sclerosis (MS)” said the doctor, as he sat with his fingers steepled under his chin at the opposite side of a grey, impersonal, metal desk. This bombshell was dropped on me after four days of extensive tests. The four days had crawled past so slowly that it seemed time had stood still. The longer I remained in hospital my position seemed to become more precarious.
“You have MS” said the doctor and my world crumbled. The year was 1988 and he told me that there was no cause, no cure and no treatment. I was on my own.
“You have MS” said the doctor and I knew that I had a really difficult job on the horizon; I had to tell my wife what the doctor had said. She had anticipated the diagnosis and was somewhat prepared. We hugged and we cried and we hugged and we cried and railed against God and the world for a number of days and then like a sail ship without wind we were becalmed. Shortly after that our wind rose again, we left the doldrums and resumed forward motion. Life goes on.
“You have MS said the doctor” and I looked at him with horror and terror in equal amounts etched on my face. It was just another day at the office for him. He hadn’t tried to ‘gild the lily’ to soften the blow. The sentence was delivered in a cold manner of fact way with little or no regard for the recipient, me.
“You have MS” said the doctor and I knew that my family and friends would be devastated but they had to be told. I knew some of them would be stoic in their acceptance of my news and others would not. I was correct
“You have MS” said the doctor and I knew my life would never be the same. It had changed irrevocably and I would have to get comfortable with a new ‘normality’. I would have to get used to the restrictions that MS would place on me but at that time I did not know what form those restriction would take. I was facing into the great unknown, facing a journey that had no roads or even informal pathways.
“You have MS” said the doctor and I thought I was on my own to navigate this tortuous journey. I was wrong, so wrong. My family, both immediate and extended, rallied to my side. They surrounded me with love and understanding. They did not force their attentions or help upon me but I knew that they were there for me whenever I would allow them into my world.
Blogging has been the key that opened the door to my MS world and I am grateful that I discovered blogging. It has opened a new world for me and if my experiences can help one other person I will claim that as a positive result.
I am strong in spite of MS not because of it.