Is it nature or nurture?

Happiness is an inside job.

A friend of mine, Eleni Politi, sent me a poem recently that got me thinking  and for that I say thank you Eleni.

Is it nature or nurture? I have heard that question asked innumerable times and more often than not the question refers to badness within people; most often after an horrendous crime that people cannot understand.

The same question can be asked of positivity/negativity and happiness/unhappiness. Is it nature or nurture? Why are some people better equipped to deal with adversity? Is it nature or nurture?

Adversity, in the form of Multiple Sclerosis (MS), has been part of my life since 1988 and my family and I have learned to deal with it on a daily basis. We have learnt to cope. Is it nature or nurture that helps us through, that keeps us going?

I believe it is a bit of both but I also believe that without the wholehearted backup of family and friends in times of adversity that that feel good factor can be swept away in a torrent of negativity.

We must learn to deal with adversity and recognise when we need help and our family and friends must learn to recognise when we need help but most importantly they must learn to recognise when we are willing to accept help; it is not enough to recognise that we need it. Sometimes stubbornness/pride can restrict our ability to accept help. The needing of help and the willingness to accept help rarely arrive together. Please be patient.

Happiness is an inside job. Positivity is also an inside job but neither can last without nurturing. Firstly we must learn to be nice to ourselves and be nice to others. The main tenet is to treat others as you would like to be treated. Empathise. Look at things from different perspectives. Be less critical of yourself and others. Don’t play the blame game. Worry is a waste of emotion and can never be totally eliminated but it can, and must, be controlled.

Live long an prosper.

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Categories: Just thoughts | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Is it nature or nurture?

  1. Wandering Soul

    ok. i stand corrected 🙂 support and respect 🙂

  2. Wandering Soul

    I am sorry to hear about your MS. A very close friend of mine also has it. I don’t know how to comfort her or what to say to cheer her up. It’s too hard.

    • Declan Groeger

      I’m so sorry that your comment slipped into the spam box and I only spoted it now. ‘Comfort’ is not a word I would use, support and respect are better, but are somewhat interchangeable.

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