My Dear Friend (Not)
We have known each other intimately for more than 27 years and in all that time you have done little to endear yourself to me.
Do you remember when you first entered my life? I’m not exactly sure of the date but you sneaked in under the radar unannounced back in 1983 and it took another five years before it was confirmed that you had taken up residence. When I asked why you had selected me you simply replied that you had known members of my family for a long time and they were good to you and you got on well together. But why me I asked? Why not, you replied. Not that I would wish you on another family member in my place, I just wanted to know the selection process you used so I could warn other people what you were looking for and maybe changes could be made that would make them less attractive to you.
You robbed me of a lot over the years and I didn’t realise what a thieving swine you really were. Some time ago I referred to you as benevolent thief; I gave you credit for bringing out good aspects of my character but nothing could have been further from the truth. I am strong in spite of you not because of you. I write about you not to glorify and immortalise you but to warn people about you. I notice that you have never taken a civil action against me for all that I have said because you know that I have told no lies and my defence would be watertight; the best defence in a libel action is the truth.
You are a nasty vindictive piece of work. You are the ultimate vandal. You are always present, you refuse to leave. There are times when you are benign and lazy and others when you wake up stretch your muscles and rampage through my body. I think you attack me just to force me to acknowledge that you are still present, as if I could ever forget. You are doing your best to destroy me, but you best remember I am made of stronger stuff. The ‘strong stuff’ is in my genes and I won’t go down without a fight. I can’t say that I will beat you; in fact I know that I cannot beat you on my own. Be warned that I have a huge team spread throughout the world working on my behalf and they have already succeeded in slowing you down. The next step will be to force a retreat, then a cure and at that time I will shout from the rooftops “I HAD MS”. Ultimately a vaccine will be found and at that stage you will be consigned to the annals of history and a well deserved one way ticket to oblivion.